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PodCast Interview with Nicklas Ehrlich – Balance Your Life

PodCast Interview with Nicklas Ehrlich, MSW, RSW, RCC (Vital Synergy Mind Fitness Inc.) The interview addresses what causes various areas of life to be out of balance, how to identify these areas and how they can affect each areas of our life, and what we can do to help change the course of any imbalance back to balance and greater resiliency and contentment. Listen to the Podcast    

By |2018-10-27T20:39:41+00:00October 27th, 2018|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Epstein Barr Virus Info

Are you fatigued, gaining weight, have hormone imbalance, in pain, experiencing numbness and tingling, ringing in the ears or have a diagnosis of Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Rheumatoid Arthritis, MS, Lupus or Lyme’s?  There is a virus called Epstein-Barr that is probably causing your symptoms Is a highly contagious virus that infects via bodily fluids such as saliva, blood, etc. In Stage One: It is initially dormant in the blood replicating and waiting for an opportunity to launch an infection When you physically exhaust yourselfand don’t fully recover, or if you are deficient in zinc and B12, or have atraumatic emotional experience, the virus detects these stress-related hormones and strikes Also, when undergoing major hormonal changes e.g. puberty, pregnancy or menopause After childbirth, aches, pains, fatigue and depressionare all symptoms of the virus EBV uses hormones as a fuel source – their abundance (puberty, pregnancy, menopause) acts as a trigger Stage one can take weeks, months or a decade or longer depending on a variety of factors The virus is vulnerable in stage one but is also undetectable through tests and causes no symptoms    EBV Stage Two: At the end of stage one, Epstein Barr virus is ready to do battle with your body. It turns into Mononucleosis known as the “kissing disease”caused by exhaustioncommon in college students with all night partying and studying This stage the virus is most contagious– avoid exposed blood, saliva or other bodily fluids from someone with mono or avoid exposing anyone else to your fluids if you have mono How severely this battle rages varies depending on the strain of EBV. A mild case would be a scratchy throat and tiredness for a week or two, a severe [...]

By |2018-08-17T00:24:10+00:00August 17th, 2018|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Relationship Checkup: How to Build a Plan for Couple Maintenance

If only relationships came with a “check engine” light. We go and go. We brush aside some concerns or ignore red flags. But in the end, if we don’t get a regular relationship checkup, we’re flirting with disaster. Relationship Reminders We may be told stories of “till death do we part” and “happily ever after,” but reality has its own tale to tell. The divorce rate ranges as high as 50 percent—and that’s only for first marriages. The second time around, there might be a 60 to 70 percent chance of divorce. Can you imagine if we could keep track of the “break-up” rate for long-term, non-married couples? This is the worst-kept secret in our culture, but so few of us do anything to prevent it. If we know a given food is bad for our health, we make conscious choices to avoid it. This doesn’t guarantee good health, but it’s the logical preventative measure. It’s time to apply such rational thought to our relationships. Relationship Checkup: How to Build a Plan for Couple Maintenance 1. Communication This is the foundation. It requires steady maintenance and re-evaluation. Without healthy communication, every other aspect of your relationship is weakened and more vulnerable. A few of the steps are:   Learn how to listen actively Learn the two talking styles and learn how to speak both styles Practice radical honesty Avoid passive-aggressive choices Learn how to forgive and how to give an authentic apology 2. Intimacy We must allow for evolution and re-imagining. Intimacy is not a static destination. It’s a wonderful and fluid process if we work together to keep things flowing. Some suggestions:   Accept that lust feels differently over time Learn to work with [...]

By |2018-06-11T23:08:40+00:00December 14th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

How to Stop Worrying

It’s one of those words that feeds on itself. Just hearing the word worry can make us worry and then not stop worrying. That’s not to say there’s not a time and place for worrying. But this reaction can become habitual and dangerous to our overall health. What is worry and why do we do it? To worry is to give way to feelings of fear, doubt, anxiety, and guilt. It’s to let these feelings manifest into images of future problems—images we dwell on incessantly. To worry is to live in a state of anxiety. So why would we do this to ourselves?   Like anger and fear, for example, worry is something viewed as bad that can often save our lives. Without worry, none of us would still be here to figure out how to stop worrying. We face real dangers in our life. Worry can be a powerful defense mechanism.   When it becomes chronic, we worry when danger isn’t present. That’s when worry earns its negative reputation. In fact, the danger of worrying can become far worse than anything we’re worrying about! Negative impacts of worrying:   Physical and mental exhaustion Weight gain/Digestive issues Hair loss Sleep disturbances Loss of focus and concentration High blood pressure Memory loss Depressed immune system Holding onto hurts from the past Getting stuck on behaviours (compulsions) Oppositional behavior Argumentativeness Uncooperativeness Addictive behaviors Chronic pain Cognitive inflexibility Eating disordrs Road rage Obessive-compulsive disorder   This daunting list is just a sampling. But it all adds up to a chronic state of mind that cannot sustain good health. We can become paranoid, irritable, anxious, and clinically depressed. How to Stop Worrying 1. Accept the limits of your control [...]

By |2017-12-08T01:26:38+00:00December 8th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Relationship Crisis? Building Intimacy from the Fire of Conflict

When you and your significant other are arguing, intimacy is often the last thing on your mind. During conflict, we may choose some form of distancing, e.g.   Passive-aggressive interactions Silent treatment Not sleeping in the same bed   The variations are endless, but the feeling is the same. A relationship crisis rarely feels like the best time for building intimacy. In many cases, it’s not. However, the fire of conflict does not have to be all-consuming. In fact, focusing on intimacy can be the key towards recovering and reconnecting. The Positive Impact of Building Intimacy In some ways, intimacy is what makes your connection a romance. We all have deep relationships with friends and family members. We share life-changing moments with them. Time with our spouse, however, involves another layer. This doesn’t mean something purely sexual. Intimacy is a fluid process and it can steadily reinforce and re-invent our relationship. And it comes in many forms, e.g.   Physical Intellectual Spiritual Experiential   In times of crisis, intimacy may be the strongest thread holding things in place because it requires:   Trust Vulnerability Honest with self and others Flexibility Respect   It’s not hard to see how those five components also play a crucial role in conflict resolution. 5 Ways to Start Building Intimacy from the Fire of Conflict 1. Communication is sexy It’s also smart and wise and necessary. Communicate. Let your partner know what you need, want, and desire. Even if you think your communication is healthy, keep checking in. Improve your listening skills. Check your body language and tone of voice. Appreciate the power of physical gestures. And choose radical honesty. 2. Don’t force it Conflict can shift a mood quickly. [...]

By |2017-11-30T03:01:32+00:00November 30th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

How Your Immune System is Affected by Your Well-Being

What do you mean when you talk about boosting your immune system? Let’s take an educated guess at some of the answers: Make changes to your eating habits Exercise daily and stay active Maintain regular sleep patterns Wash your hands often Perhaps you even include answers pertaining to supplements, alternative treatments like acupuncture, and fasting How many of you would focus on your emotions and your psychological well-being? Some of the big emotional stressors that impact our emotional health: Loss of job/switching careers Going to University or career training Financial hardship Moving/relocation Marriage/moving in together Starting a family Starting a new relationship Relationship stresses or abuse Workplace stresses or abuse Separation or divorce Death of a loved one Change of any kind contributes to some level of stress, even good changes Or just dashed expectations of self and what you had hoped was possible   Any or all of these usually cause anxiety and stress. In turn, our body responds and reacts. How extreme that reaction varies widely but it is not something to ever take likely. At the very least,   when life upsets us, we lose some psychological balance. But there doesn’t have to be a clear and present danger to throw off our balance. If anxiety causes us to perceive a threat, our bodies cannot tell the difference. If there’s a chance of danger—real or not—our “fight or flight” response kicks in. Among other things, this means: Our brain diverts more blood to our muscles to facilitate a physical response In order to gain more energy, we experience an increase in heart rate, fats, blood pressure, and blood sugars Our muscles tense up, thus providing more speed and strength Even our blood clotting [...]

By |2017-11-16T22:52:16+00:00November 16th, 2017|Coaching, Counseling|0 Comments

Caring Ways to Fight in a Relationship

Yes, happy couples fight. Fighting all the time is a red flag. Not fighting at all is also a red flag. But what about those who don’t fight often but when they do, it gets ugly in a hurry? There are caring ways to fight. That may sound contradictory but conflict is a necessary part of life. It’s unavoidable. How we deal with it is the negotiable aspect. Do we fly off the handle or become passive-aggressive or turn it into a contest? There are so many ways to fight unproductively. However, it is quite possible to create a foundation upon which confrontation is not tantamount to war. 6 Caring Ways to Fight in a Relationship Check the power dynamics Whether we admit or not—whether we like it or not—there are factors that give some of us an unfair advantage. Gender, age, size, etc.—these dynamics can shape a confrontation. Check yourself and your partner. Communicate about imbalances in advance. Lay the groundwork for productive fighting. Fight fair No matter how mad you are or how frustrated you get, your words and actions have ramifications. One can make a case that it’s never acceptable to fall back on name-calling and low blows. But this is your partner. It’s not someone who stole your parking space. Under no circumstances should your language become abusive or your behavior threatening. Accept that you can and often are wrong It’s fine to feel strongly about things. Sometimes it’s necessary. But again, never forget who it is you’re fighting with. This isn’t a barroom debate about football teams. In relationship arguments, nuance reigns supreme. You can be right and wrong at the same time. Don’t stubbornly hold a point just to [...]

By |2017-12-01T15:31:40+00:00November 6th, 2017|Counseling|0 Comments

Why Talk Counselling and Coaching Aren’t Enough to Motivate & Change Behavior

What does “therapy” mean? Truthfully, therapy is a word used to cover a lot of ground. In fact, it’s often used to cover far too much ground. It’s more accurate to say therapies. Broadly speaking, there are five categories of therapies: Psychoanalysis and psychodynamic therapies Behavior therapy Cognitive therapy Humanistic therapy Integrative or holistic therapy Translation: Many, many therapies have been created to motivate and change behavior. Talk counselling is just one of them. Taken alone, talk counselling and/or coaching may not be enough. Changing conscious programs or conditioning is important but not the only goal. Simply put, our subconscious programming is responsible for 95 percent of our personality and our behaviour. Why Talk Counselling and Coaching  Aren’t Enough to Motivate & Change Behavior Using conscious modalities of therapy only touches the 5 percent of beliefs. It does not touch or transform the 95 percent of the subconscious programming from genetics and from childhood developmental programming from the environment. What is subconscious programming? It’s like an operating system on a computer. Our subconscious mind contains our habits, memories, beliefs, and control over your body. Therefore, it requires specific modalities to address this operating system. This is not to say talk counselling and coaching aren’t very productive and necessary parts of an overall program. Talk counselling can offer a comfortable and supportive atmosphere where clients can be motivated to achieve the personal growth they strive for. As for coaching, it encompasses: Prioritizing, looking at options/solutions Goal setting and clarification Creating optimal results Bringing forth new healthy behaviors that lead to greater success in business and in your personal life A multifaceted approach to your emotional well-being would include some aspect of talk counselling and coaching. But [...]

By |2017-10-16T21:05:56+00:00October 30th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

How to Express your Feelings and Needs in a Non-Threatening Way

We live in an era when you use emojis and ALL CAPS to express your feelings. It sometimes feels like no one communicates face to face anymore. While this varies from person to person—and from location to location—there are still some constants. For example, you want to express your feelings and needs. But, whether it’s while lying in bed together or long distance via text, you wish to communicate in a non-threatening way. What makes your expression style appear threatening? There are obvious examples, of course. When you announce that you’ll commit bodily harm if you don’t get your way, well, the threat is clear. However, on purpose or not, we can often change the dynamics of a conversation in far more subtle ways, e.g. Voice-related issues. How loud we speak is major. Also, keep in mind: how much we speak and whether or not we interrupt. Posture, gestures, etc. Body language can shift perception. Standing while everyone is sitting is a common example. In addition, facial expression and physical mannerisms form a language of their own. Exploiting power imbalances. Not all conversations are created equal. Two people may think they’re speaking as equals, but consider the impact of sex, ethnicity, race, class, age, and position (boss-employee, parent-child, etc.) Being passive-aggressive. What we refuse to say carries weight. To passive-aggressively suggest opinions or to withhold those opinions breeds resentment and feel threatening at times. Think about the power of keeping someone on “read” when communicating via online chat. 5 Ways to Express your Feelings and Needs in a Non-Threatening Way Stay aware of body language and tone Being the loudest or biggest or most talkative person in the room adds something to your words—like it [...]

By |2017-10-16T21:00:47+00:00October 23rd, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Communication Styles and How to Create a Bridge Between Them

No, this isn’t a tech comparison between texts, tweets, and PMs. Sure, that’s one way to assess communication preferences. Some like the phone. Others only text. Many choose e-mail. But those are more about delivery than style. Communication styles say a lot about how each of us choose to share information. Of course, these styles can sometimes blur into each other. However, there are some clear lines to be discussed and well communicated. What types of communication styles are there? Here are some broad but common categories: Affiliative/Indirect Think of this style as collaborative. The affiliative communicator is comfortable sharing power. In the case of couples, they will almost always get their partner’s input before making a decision. Some characteristics of an affiliative/indirect communicator include: A desire to work out problems collectively Does not want or appreciate direct challenges A bluntly stated disagreement may be perceived as hostile May take disagreements personally Will remain quiet until all sides have presented their case When interacting with an affiliative/indirect communicator, you may have to do some work to fully grasp their intentions. In their quest to avoid tension or confrontation, they’ll start with “maybe” before stating a clear “no.” Competitive/Direct This communication style is the flip side of the affiliative communicator. A competitive communicator isn’t necessarily “competing” but they’re unafraid to challenge those around them and/or make decisions on their own. The competitive/direct communicator is: Willing to dominate discussions Ready to get right to the point Comfortable with immediately speaking up when faced with disagreeable topic A direction giver and decision maker At their best when working within a clear power structure Appreciative of bluntness, honesty, and short answers As you might imagine, the competitive/direct communicator uses [...]

By |2017-10-20T21:16:23+00:00October 20th, 2017|Coaching, Counseling|0 Comments