Talk counselling & coaching are part of the puzzle, but it's important to utilize methods like neurofeedback and hypnosis that reprogram your subconscious
Conflict is unavoidable and a totally natural part of workplace relationships, but managing conflict does not have to involve raised voices and hurt feelings. These 5 strategies from Nicklas Ehrlich will set you up to better manage your next conflict in the workplace. From the foundation of counselling, we can and will become adept at managing conflict at work, or even in our personal relationships.
PodCast Interview with Nicklas Ehrlich, MSW, RSW, RCC (Vital Synergy Mind Fitness Inc.) The interview addresses what causes various areas of life to be out of balance, how to identify these areas and how they can affect each areas of our life, and what we can do to help change the course of any imbalance back to balance and greater resiliency and contentment. Listen to the Podcast
Are you fatigued, gaining weight, have hormone imbalance, in pain, experiencing numbness and tingling, ringing in the ears or have a diagnosis of Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Rheumatoid Arthritis, MS, Lupus or Lyme’s? There is a virus called Epstein-Barr that is probably causing your symptoms Is a highly contagious virus that infects via bodily fluids such as saliva, blood, etc. In Stage One: It is initially dormant in the blood replicating and waiting for an opportunity to launch an infection When you physically exhaust yourselfand don’t fully recover, or if you are deficient in zinc and B12, or have atraumatic emotional experience, the virus detects these stress-related hormones and strikes Also, when undergoing major hormonal changes e.g. puberty, pregnancy or menopause After childbirth, aches, pains, fatigue and depressionare all symptoms of the virus EBV uses hormones as a fuel source – their abundance (puberty, pregnancy, menopause) acts as a trigger Stage one can take weeks, months or a decade or longer depending on a variety of factors The virus is vulnerable in stage one but is also undetectable through tests and causes no symptoms EBV Stage Two: At the end of stage one, Epstein Barr virus is ready to do battle with your body. It turns into Mononucleosis known as the “kissing disease”caused by exhaustioncommon in college students with all night partying and studying This stage the virus is most contagious– avoid exposed blood, saliva or other bodily fluids from someone with mono or avoid exposing anyone else to your fluids if you have mono How severely this battle rages varies depending on the strain of EBV. A mild case would be a scratchy throat and tiredness for a week or two, a severe [...]
If only relationships came with a “check engine” light. We go and go. We brush aside some concerns or ignore red flags. But in the end, if we don’t get a regular relationship checkup, we’re flirting with disaster. Relationship Reminders We may be told stories of “till death do we part” and “happily ever after,” but reality has its own tale to tell. The divorce rate ranges as high as 50 percent—and that’s only for first marriages. The second time around, there might be a 60 to 70 percent chance of divorce. Can you imagine if we could keep track of the “break-up” rate for long-term, non-married couples? This is the worst-kept secret in our culture, but so few of us do anything to prevent it. If we know a given food is bad for our health, we make conscious choices to avoid it. This doesn’t guarantee good health, but it’s the logical preventative measure. It’s time to apply such rational thought to our relationships. Relationship Checkup: How to Build a Plan for Couple Maintenance 1. Communication This is the foundation. It requires steady maintenance and re-evaluation. Without healthy communication, every other aspect of your relationship is weakened and more vulnerable. A few of the steps are: Learn how to listen actively Learn the two talking styles and learn how to speak both styles Practice radical honesty Avoid passive-aggressive choices Learn how to forgive and how to give an authentic apology 2. Intimacy We must allow for evolution and re-imagining. Intimacy is not a static destination. It’s a wonderful and fluid process if we work together to keep things flowing. Some suggestions: Accept that lust feels differently over time Learn to work with [...]
It’s one of those words that feeds on itself. Just hearing the word worry can make us worry and then not stop worrying. That’s not to say there’s not a time and place for worrying. But this reaction can become habitual and dangerous to our overall health. What is worry and why do we do it? To worry is to give way to feelings of fear, doubt, anxiety, and guilt. It’s to let these feelings manifest into images of future problems—images we dwell on incessantly. To worry is to live in a state of anxiety. So why would we do this to ourselves? Like anger and fear, for example, worry is something viewed as bad that can often save our lives. Without worry, none of us would still be here to figure out how to stop worrying. We face real dangers in our life. Worry can be a powerful defense mechanism. When it becomes chronic, we worry when danger isn’t present. That’s when worry earns its negative reputation. In fact, the danger of worrying can become far worse than anything we’re worrying about! Negative impacts of worrying: Physical and mental exhaustion Weight gain/Digestive issues Hair loss Sleep disturbances Loss of focus and concentration High blood pressure Memory loss Depressed immune system Holding onto hurts from the past Getting stuck on behaviours (compulsions) Oppositional behavior Argumentativeness Uncooperativeness Addictive behaviors Chronic pain Cognitive inflexibility Eating disordrs Road rage Obessive-compulsive disorder This daunting list is just a sampling. But it all adds up to a chronic state of mind that cannot sustain good health. We can become paranoid, irritable, anxious, and clinically depressed. How to Stop Worrying 1. Accept the limits of your control [...]
When you and your significant other are arguing, intimacy is often the last thing on your mind. During conflict, we may choose some form of distancing, e.g. Passive-aggressive interactions Silent treatment Not sleeping in the same bed The variations are endless, but the feeling is the same. A relationship crisis rarely feels like the best time for building intimacy. In many cases, it’s not. However, the fire of conflict does not have to be all-consuming. In fact, focusing on intimacy can be the key towards recovering and reconnecting. The Positive Impact of Building Intimacy In some ways, intimacy is what makes your connection a romance. We all have deep relationships with friends and family members. We share life-changing moments with them. Time with our spouse, however, involves another layer. This doesn’t mean something purely sexual. Intimacy is a fluid process and it can steadily reinforce and re-invent our relationship. And it comes in many forms, e.g. Physical Intellectual Spiritual Experiential In times of crisis, intimacy may be the strongest thread holding things in place because it requires: Trust Vulnerability Honest with self and others Flexibility Respect It’s not hard to see how those five components also play a crucial role in conflict resolution. 5 Ways to Start Building Intimacy from the Fire of Conflict 1. Communication is sexy It’s also smart and wise and necessary. Communicate. Let your partner know what you need, want, and desire. Even if you think your communication is healthy, keep checking in. Improve your listening skills. Check your body language and tone of voice. Appreciate the power of physical gestures. And choose radical honesty. 2. Don’t force it Conflict can shift a mood quickly. [...]
What do you mean when you talk about boosting your immune system? Let’s take an educated guess at some of the answers: Make changes to your eating habits Exercise daily and stay active Maintain regular sleep patterns Wash your hands often Perhaps you even include answers pertaining to supplements, alternative treatments like acupuncture, and fasting How many of you would focus on your emotions and your psychological well-being? Some of the big emotional stressors that impact our emotional health: Loss of job/switching careers Going to University or career training Financial hardship Moving/relocation Marriage/moving in together Starting a family Starting a new relationship Relationship stresses or abuse Workplace stresses or abuse Separation or divorce Death of a loved one Change of any kind contributes to some level of stress, even good changes Or just dashed expectations of self and what you had hoped was possible Any or all of these usually cause anxiety and stress. In turn, our body responds and reacts. How extreme that reaction varies widely but it is not something to ever take likely. At the very least, when life upsets us, we lose some psychological balance. But there doesn’t have to be a clear and present danger to throw off our balance. If anxiety causes us to perceive a threat, our bodies cannot tell the difference. If there’s a chance of danger—real or not—our “fight or flight” response kicks in. Among other things, this means: Our brain diverts more blood to our muscles to facilitate a physical response In order to gain more energy, we experience an increase in heart rate, fats, blood pressure, and blood sugars Our muscles tense up, thus providing more speed and strength Even our blood clotting [...]