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Assumptions have a bad reputation. Of course, in many cases, this reputation is well-earned. Assumptions are usually opinions, based more on our expectations and perceptions than on fact.   However, we make assumptions all day, every day. It could be about our commute to work, what the weather will be, and so on. It’s part of the drive for survival to, for example, see a dark and desolated street and assume it’s best to find another route. In other words, not all assumptions are wrong assumptions. When are assumptions a bad idea? Often and usually. In the context we’re using here, assumptions are like bad seeds. Unless pruned, they grow and gain strength. Uprooting them later is much harder work than nipping them in the bud before they grow. There are countless different types of assumptions. Here are three of the most common examples: 1. Assumptions based on a single or outdated past experience. So much of our present strife is born in the past. Even one singular experience can instill a lifelong belief. Simply put, we choose to accept that if it went one way in the past, it will always go that way. This just may be the most common of all wrong assumptions—and for good reason. If you took a chance and were shot down in public, you’d likely make a deep mental note to not try it again. Mindfulness and reprogramming our beliefs can teach us to embrace the present, a place where assumptions are exposed. 2. Assumptions based on our environment. Where we live, who raised us, and the conditions of our surroundings all combine to form a huge part of our worldview. Wrong assumptions can be actively or passively [...]

We’re taught to dream of soul mates. How many songs are written about couples made for each other? The libraries are full of books about finding the person you want to be with all the time. But is this what we really want…or need? Can a close relationship become too close? Is this what they mean by codependency? What is Codependency? The definitions and criteria can vary widely but a codependent relationship is one that's built upon helping each other. This may sound good at first. However, it’s a very dysfunctional form of helping. To help explain what this means, please consider some of the hallmarks of codependency: You willingly engage in long term, high-cost care-taking The more you sacrifice, the more self-esteem you feel You display a pattern of enabling and unhealthy helping behaviors You attract needy individuals, have a tendency to take responsibility for them, and thus take on problem far beyond your ability to handle A codependent person does not set many boundaries. Therefore, their emotions are directly tied to the behavior of those in their life. This sets into a motion a dangerous cycle. The longer the cycle exists, the harder it is to recognize. How Does Codependency Negatively Affect Relationships? 1. You feel like you cannot live without the other person Once again, pop culture teaches us that this is a positive goal. It most definitely is not. Committed love is wonderful. Building your entire self-image around another person is dysfunctional. 2. Your partner controls you or you control your partner This may sound obvious but control is a tricky concept. It’s so tricky that even some controllers don’t know they’re doing it. Codependency provides cover for such behavior. 3. [...]

Last time, we spoke about “life changes.” In other words, we discussed how to manage when life throws you a proverbial curve ball. A life transition, however, happens at our choosing. It can be as daunting as any life change, but we have the advantage of being able to prepare. Still, no preparation can cover all the bases. That’s where the real learning happens and the wisdom gets banked. For starters, let’s clarify what some of these life transitions may be. It’s tricky to attempt creating a complete list but there are some universal options. Common Life Transitions Moving/relocation Changing jobs or careers Retirement Getting married/moving in together Getting separated or divorced Starting a family Graduation Changes in family and friendship relationships Major health challenges Major lifestyle change (religion, diet, and so on) All of these (and more) can be planned in advance. This prevents the shock aspect of a life change. However, even a carefully planned transition will supply more than a few surprises. When those jolts happen, it helps to have a few backup plans to bolster your resilience. 6 Ways to Survive Life Transitions and Bank the Wisdom from Them! 1. Prepare your mind and body You have the necessary strength and endurance inside you. To tap into these resources, you must be at your best. This calls for self-care. It means encouraging smart sleep patterns, healthy eating habits, and regular exercise. And that’s not all. Develop some relaxation techniques. We may be planning for a change. That doesn’t mean there won’t be challenges, upheaval, and a sense of loss. The best version of you is prepared to handle it. 2. Keep your eyes on the big picture Small details are important. [...]

What Now? Making the Most of Major Life Changes! Nothing is permanent except change. You’d think we’d all be used to it by now. But change sure does freak most of us out. Then you have life changes. Major life changes. You know, the stuff that rocks foundations and changes everything. Perhaps you're experiencing one or more of the following: Marriage, moving in together Divorce, separation, break-up Death of someone close to you Changing jobs, losing a job retirement Buying a house, relocating Starting a family Serious illness or injury Financial issues (dramatic change in either direction)   The changes listed above are in a league of their own. They offer us opportunities to grow and learn more about ourselves. Hey, if change is inevitable, we should do our best to make the most of it! How to Make the Most of Major Life Changes 1. Prepare to be depressed/scared/overwhelmed Fasten your seat belt. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. Prepare, prepare, prepare. Do what you need to do so you’re not taken by surprise. How do we do that? Read on. 2. Take care of yourself Self-care is a basic choice in life. In the midst of major life changes, it becomes a life saver. Consider: Regular sleep patterns Healthy eating habits Daily exercise and activity Stress management The best version of you is needed. The best version of you is only possible if you start with the basics. 3. Create a support system Do you have friends and family you can rely on? Take out a pen and paper. List the people in your life. Now, honestly appraise their role in your circle. In big moments, you deserve to be surrounded with [...]

Stop unwanted leakage with the Kegel exercise and more by Naomi Wolfman, GNC(C), NCA, BScN Originally Published in  Health Action Magazine Spring 2014 edition Sheila goes in for a yearly physical exam and expects the health care professional to approach the subject of incontinence. When that doesn’t happen, she goes home without having her bladder or bowel symptoms addressed. The cycle continues. When dining out, Ken makes sure he knows the layout of the restaurant for quick access to the washroom. Otherwise, he says no to social invitations. Nancy worries about losing her job because she has to punch out each time she leaves the assembly line. She uses pads, which cost much of what she makes but cannot disclose to anyone. The stories of Sheila, Ken and Nancy illustrate their secret suffering. Through- out the world women and men suffer with incontinence, urgency, frequency, hesitancy, dribbling or nocturia at a ratio of four to one. In Canada alone 10 percent of the population reportedly experiences bother- some urinary symptoms. Bowel symptoms are less reported, but so far five percent of Canadians suffer with frustrating and embarrassing occurrences. Incontinence is any leakage that one does not intend to let escape. Incontinence can be divided by type of symptoms, namely stress, urge, mixed, overflow or functional incontinence.  Causes of incontinence There are many causes of incontinence, including loss of structural support, sphincter deficiency, detrusor (bladder muscle) instability, pelvic surgeries, and certain medications or lifestyle habits that aggravate existing symptoms. The pelvic floor—comprised of muscles below your pelvis—cradles internal organs and gives you control when urinating. Conversely, having a weak pelvic floor impacts most of our daily routine and often leads to incontinence. The Kegel exercise is a [...]

“The most important distance between you and the ball, puck, player, or whatever you are playing against is the 6 inches between your ears.” Athletic coaches know that the mental component of a sport is vital to success.  It is critical to be “in the zone”.  For most people, it is a challenge to change the way their brains work and subsequently their habits that sabotage their efforts and lessen their success.  Neurofeedback easily facilitates success in athletic performance.  Many elite Olympic athletes use neurofeedback training to supplement their rigorous physical training.  Neurofeedback has become the breakfast of champions. EEG biofeedback (also referred to as neurofeedback), is perhaps the worst kept performance enhancement secret in sports today.   Neurofeedback is a form of cognitive brain training used by athletes all over the world to enhance their performance.  Star athletes from the Olympics, NBA, NFL, and the LPGA have turned to neurofeedback for that mental advantage necessary to catapult them above and beyond the competition. The Italian National soccer team credited their improbable 2006 world championship to regular neruofeedback sessions.  U.S. Beach Volleyball Olympian Kerri Walsh-Jennings’ unprecedented 3rdgold medal in 2012 was built on athletic performance training that incorporated neurofeedback. Canadian PGA Professional Scott Hawley has found improvement in the mental and physical flow in his golf game.  Neurofeedback has helped him with calmness, being in the moment, and enjoyment of his sport. Hawley, who plays on the Canadian Professional Golf Tour, says: “NeurOptimal™ took away my extra muscle tension, which allowed me to swing better.  My physiotherapist sent me away without treatment after NeurOptimal™, saying I didn’t need it.  NeurOptimal™ also cleared my mind, which helped in decision-making.  There is a lot of potential in this for any [...]