Relationship Anxiety: What It Is and How to Stop It

Relationship anxiety is fairly different than the general everyday anxiety you may feel. This difference requires a specialized way of dealing with it. Our blog post will help you understand what relationship anxiety is, why it happens, and teach you the specialized ways to deal with it.

What Is Relationship Anxiety?

Relationship anxiety comes from a variety of sources. It is an unconscious reaction in our relationship that develops from the environment in which we grew up in. Approximately 95% of what we experience as we grow developmentally affects us behaviourally, emotionally, and unconsciously later in life. This early conditioning that forms in our childhood environments determines our relationship anxiety. Relationship anxiety is influenced by the homes we were raised in and those we have constant contact with like family members, friends, caregivers, and teachers to name a few.

These experiences that take place in our childhood environments with regards to relationships form an unconscious relationship map. This map becomes our template for relationships. Individuals can unconsciously copy it or choose to rebel from it and do the opposite. Overall, in any case it is a reaction and not a conscious choice an individual makes.

How Does It Happen?

There is no direct path that will lead relationship anxiety to occur. As mentioned above, it is not a conscious choice an individual makes but rather an unconscious reaction that can present itself in many different ways. 

When you’re in a relationship, it is commonly not just the two people in the relationship who solely determine your relationship anxiety. Although we are largely influenced by our partners actions when it comes to this, it is also determined by our relationship map and the prior relationships that we have experienced. This is all brought into our present relationship unless we have separated the learning and prior conditioning out from these past experiences that reside in our unconscious. 

As a result of our relationship map, past relationships, and our current relationship, relationship anxiety can surface in a variety of ways. Ways such as fear of abandonment, conflict, not being or feeling loved, not feeling deserving of love, and not communicating needs, expectations, and boundaries.

How It Can Impact Your Relationship

Despite how strong your connection with your partner may be, if negative or problematic relationship conditioning is not addressed, your relationship can not truly be healthy. This will further increase your relationship anxiety and put a significant strain on your relationship.

The following 6 ways to stop relationship anxiety are expertly created and are here to help you foster a healthy relationship and mitigate the impact that relationship anxiety can have.

6 Ways to Stop Relationship Anxiety

1. Learn Your Past

Learn the relationship patterns that you grew up with around you and what was modeled in the environment.

2. Learn What Makes You Anxious

Learn what is contributing to your anxiety. Once this is discovered you can work on reframing and transforming it.

3. Utilize Accessible Tools

Learn how to change any negative relationship patterns with various tools like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy exercises, hypnotherapy and neurofeedback. These forms of therapy can help you change problematic behaviours and beliefs. 

4. Effectively Communicate 

Learn effective communication tools and skills, especially when relating relationally.

5. Set Healthy Boundaries 

Set healthy and firm boundaries with consequences if they are not respected.

6. Get to Know Yourself Better

Learn how to build your self-esteem and become more self-nurturing so that you are clear what you need and want in a healthy relationship. This will lead to you being fulfilled within yourself so that your healthy relationship map is supported consciously as well as unconsciously.

Couple who effectively dealt with their relationship anxiety

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